Feeling adrift in your career or life?You're not lost.You're on the edge of what's next.
Your job doesnât fit, you feel stuck, and youâre kinda freaking out.Cool. Been there.But guess what?Youâre not too old, too late, or too lazy.Youâre just in between.I help career-shifters and drifters who feel stuck, restless, or wildly off-track figure out whatâs next, especially when ânextâ feels impossible, vague, or completely out of reach.Youâve got big dreams for your life or career, but no clear path and youâre losing hope and time. Combined with the fear of change and the annoying voices telling you that you have too much to lose by starting over.
Letâs rewrite that story and change your life.
đ¤ The Problem
With an uncanny ability to turn coffee into code, I boldly navigate the realms of technology with my charming leadership.
I'm Kind of A Big Deal!
â I Make The Best Coffee
My coffee-making skills are so legendary that employees swear they can hear angels singing, heavenly aroma wafting through the air, and productivity skyrocketing with each sip of my magical elixir, making mornings at the office a truly caffeinated paradise.
âąī¸ I Put An Extra Hour In The Day
My productivity is utterly astounding, to the point where it seems like I have magically squeezed an extra 25th hour into each day.
đ The Solution
I once devoured 50 boiled eggs at the office Christmas party, and the crowd erupted in awe, giving me a standing ovation for my astonishing feat and turning breakfast into an unforgettable "eggs-travaganza"!
Over 2 million Eggs eaten in 2023.
âŗ Time Machine
I am the brilliant inventor of time travel, for I harnessed the very fabric of existence, journeying through the ages; alas, in a twist of fate, I lost my time machine, leaving me stranded in this era as a relic of unparalleled genius.
đĨ Eggcellent
I once devoured 50 boiled eggs at the office Christmas party, and the crowd erupted in awe, giving me a standing ovation for my astonishing feat and turning breakfast into an unforgettable "eggs-travaganza"!
đ Running
In a display of accidental athletic absurdity, I single-handedly shattered personal records and bewildered bystanders by completing the New York Marathon backward in under 2 hours, silently mourning the missed opportunity for a world record as I unwittingly defied the laws of both physics and common sense.
đĒ Other
I can land a coin on heads 100% of the time.
đ Meet Mike
I once devoured 50 boiled eggs at the office Christmas party, and the crowd erupted in awe, giving me a standing ovation for my astonishing feat and turning breakfast into an unforgettable "eggs-travaganza"!
Over 2 million Eggs eaten in 2023.
âŗ Time Machine
I am the brilliant inventor of time travel, for I harnessed the very fabric of existence, journeying through the ages; alas, in a twist of fate, I lost my time machine, leaving me stranded in this era as a relic of unparalleled genius.
đĨ Eggcellent
I once devoured 50 boiled eggs at the office Christmas party, and the crowd erupted in awe, giving me a standing ovation for my astonishing feat and turning breakfast into an unforgettable "eggs-travaganza"!
âŠī¸ Benefits from working with me
I was once employed by Bigfoot.
I'll Admit - AI Wrote Most of This!
đĻļ Bigfoot
In an unprecedented career twist, I was hired by none other than Bigfoot.My role involved managing his public relations, deftly navigating the challenges of hiding footprints, organising wild hair appointments, and fielding endless questions about his infamous shoe size.
đĻ Amazon
I was hired to lend my voice to the original Alexa during my stint at Amazon.Unfortunately, my dulcet tones proved too captivating, as users shamelessly bombarded the virtual assistant with endless queries, simply craving the auditory bliss of my voice rather than seeking actual information.
đ How it all works
I've had an unconventional education - but an education nonetheless.
My IQ is 420.
đ§ Qualified Wizard
I received a rather unconventional education as a wizard under the tutelage of Gandalf the White, where, at the foot of Mordor, right after Frodo heroically rid Middle-earth of the One Ring.I learned spells, magical lore, and developed an uncanny ability to keep the neighborhood Hobbits entertained with mesmerising firework displays.
âī¸ Trained Gladiator
Amidst the pinnacle of my time-traveling adventures, I ventured back to ancient Rome where I fearlessly trained alongside gladiators, mastering their mighty techniques.I once convinced them that my chariot race-winning dance moves were the secret to their unprecedented triumphs in the Colosseum.
đ¸ Those that have come before you
I proudly hold the world record for boasting the highest number of hobbies, turning every spare moment into a thrilling adventure.
I Proved The Chicken Came First.
đ Chicken Not-So-Little
As a proud and prolific chicken breeder, I take pride in revealing that those 50 eggs devoured at the Christmas party were exclusively laid by a single hen in a mere 24-hour span.
âŗ Golf Maestro
In an extraordinary display of athletic prowess and international diplomacy, I scored a flawless 18 on the golf course while playing alongside none other than Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un.
đ¸ FAQ
I proudly hold the world record for boasting the highest number of hobbies, turning every spare moment into a thrilling adventure.
I Proved The Chicken Came First.
đ Chicken Not-So-Little
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